rickshangle.com

In my standard/excellent style of getting on “deck” with things a year or five behind the wavefront, I recently became aware of 5ives. If your A.D.D. prohibits you from getting all the way to 1 (or 3) on any given top-ten list, check it out and, at last, get your satisfaction.

That looks like fun. Let’s kick off the party right, six-style:

Six Things that Should Be Nuked from Orbit, no order, 12-16-2006:

1. Oasis albums after “Be Here Now”[1].
2. Any Fanninghive-related organism.
3. Noise-canceling headphones sold by Brookstone.
4. The xenomorph-infested atmospheric engineering facility residing on LV-426.
5. The TV Mini Series Event The Lost Room. I know life’s not f-ing fair, Peter Krause. Neither is the fact that this show sucks in a most intense and onerous way, except for the presence of Julianna Margulies… which was only a passing fancy/distraction once Kelley told me she saw JM in a sushi place in NYC once, and that (on that particular night) she has a freakishly huge head in proportion to her body. Instant downgrade from “stone fox on the career rebound distracting me from the belief that The Lost Room was being written as it was being filmed” to “new-style Burger King commecial freakism”.[0]
6. Not being able to think of six things that should be nuked from orbit, due to a general sort of malaise/torpor/vapor filling the room this evening. But wait, I got it…
6.1: Malaise vapors!
7. (bonus) The Burger King commercial Burger King.

[0] I’m all about making friends in Hollywood.
[1] Be Here Now should also possibly be nuked from orbit. If a half-yield, sort of 1 kiloton nuke is possible, I’d consider it. But then again, do you want the target destroyed or not? Of course the answer is “you want it vaporized”. Be Here Now, mon amore.