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It’s not every day (or is it? maybe it is…) that companies write tech docs re: how to power up[1] their products.

All of their products.

Source.

[1] Turn on. Activate. Engage. Make not-off.

Reservoir Dogs in 30 seconds with bunnies reminiscent of life in hell. (Flash, brilliant, profane)

The rest are available here.

Thanks to Steve T.

rds

I would be angry at my doctors when I grew up, were I this kid.

Who has never wished for a third arm, even if it was a little t. rex arm?

rds

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed that it’s 6.6.2006 and, so far, the world doesn’t seem to be ending… at a rate any faster than the “standard” rate suggested via the positions of current and previous leaders.

The only sure sign of the apocalypse I’m seeing today is that they chose to re-make The Omen, a classic that was pretty much perfect the first time.

Also, I hope someone is keeping an eye on Taylor Hicks, as he undoubtedly will rise up and begin his patrol to claim your soul.

How depressing. Well, at least I had this waiting for me in my inbox this morning:

Woe to you, Oh Earth and Sea,
for the Devil sends the
beast with wrath, because he knows the time is short…

Let him who hath understanding reckon the number of the
beast
for it is a human number,
its number is Six hundred and
sixty six.

I left alone my mind was blank
I needed time to think to get the memories from my mind

What did I see can I believe that what I saw
that night was real and not just fantasy

Just what I saw in my old dreams were they
reflections of my warped mind staring back at me

‘Cos in my dream it’s always there the evil face that twists my mind
and brings me to despair

yeeeeeaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

The night was black was no use holding back
‘Cos I just had to see was someone watching me
In the mist dark figures move and twist
Was this all for real or some kind of hell
666 the number of the beast
Hell and fire was spawned to be released

Torches blazed and sacred chants were praised
As they start to cry hands held to the sky
In the night the fires burning bright
The ritual has begun Satan’s work is done
666 the number of the beast
Sacrifice is going on tonight

This can’t go on I must inform the law
Can this still be real or just some crazy dream
But I feel drawn towards the evil chanting hordes
They seem to mesmerise me … can’t avoid their eyes
666 the number of the beast
666 the one for you and me

I’m coming back I will return
And I’ll possess your body and I’ll make you burn
I have the fire I have the force
I have the power to make my evil take its course

Rest assured - today, I will be doing evil in my own highly personalized and passive-aggressive way.

rds

Chicago Sun Times: Student faces expulsion for Web post

Either something relative to this situation is not being reported/discussed, or I’m an idiot, because I’m failing to see what this kid did and why it deserves expulsion.

Big discussion on topic at Slashdot.

I’ve not been successful in finding the full text of the kid’s original post, which I feel is essential to understanding this.

Caveats: I’m not in high school, but I did graduate from a public one (four years prior to the web exploding), and from what I remember it was a low grade fascist regime. Also, I don’t have a kid in high school.

This is a step in the right direction for the masses who have been waiting to acquire their first drumming robot and have so far held off for aesthetic reasons.

I’m going to wait until it evolves to match the prowess displayed in the “Metallica Drummer” (video, sound). And I don’t mean Lars Ulrich.

The reality is, of course, that no robot will ever match “Metallica Drummer”… until robot supermen are our superiors.

video from gatech.edu.

rds

No virtual riot, really.

Let’s at least hope the legal proceedings happen entirely in-game, and that the judge is a furry

When are we going to have drug deals go wrong in these virtual worlds? And can we look forward to any inconvenient truths about them?

I ordered two sets of flower (mother, mother-in-law) to be delivered yesterday. Mothers Day… makes sense. FTD probably sells a lot of flowers on Mom’s Day, one (admittedly one who is totally outside the floral biz) may guess.
I received this message mid-afternoon yesterday from FTD… twice:

>Dear Valued Customer
>
>We regret to inform you that due to the holiday rush, we were unable to find a >florist in your area available to fill and deliver your order.
>We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience that this may have caused and we will be >issuing a full refund of all charges made to your credit card as a result of your >order
>
>In response to this issue, by clicking through the following link >http://www.ftd.com/love you will be entitled receive $15.00 off on all orders placed with >FTD.com through 05-31-2006.
>
>Once again, we sincerely apologize for any inconvenience.
>
>FTD.COM.
>Customer Service

Fume.

Note to FTD: You do one thing - deliver flowers. That is really your only competence. If you can’t do that one thing, you are devoid of value.

If you take my order, and say the flowers will be delivered on Mother’s Day (which I realize is probably the 1st or 2nd biggest business day for you), deliver them. Just deliver the flowers.
If you don’t think you can deliver them, don’t take my order in the first place.

And… if you can’t deliver them when promised (i.e. do to some insurmountable problem, like nuclear war), deliver them asap after… but for God’s sake don’t…

Note to FTD #2: When you decided you couldn’t do my order(S; 2x) on time, you cancelled them and emailed me halfway through the day of target delivery to notify me. How does this make sense? Can you deliver me some of the crack whoever is in charge of this policy is injecting?
Look - if you had not delivered yesterday, but just sent me a note saying “sorry - the flowers will be delivered Monday; here’s 20% off this or your next purchase”, I’d probably be 80% less angry at this moment than I
am.

But how is “if { can’t deliver on date –> delete order completely }” the appropriate default behavior/rule? Where is the logic?

Note to FTD #3: $15 off all purchases through the end of the month, and you’re refunding my money on the two orders you didn’t deliver/cancelled! That’s big of FTD, and the discounts would perhaps be applicable were I ever using them again.
Such bulls***. I realize this probably isn’t very entertaining to read. I’m a little too enraged to form coherent sentences containing anything approximating wit. I do want to nuke FTD from orbit, though.

rds

Search, build in, eventually live in Google’s Metaverse. You knew it was coming, and it’s just the beginning, is the end, is the beginning.
I look forward to SketchUp landing on OS X, so I can render the 60 year-old building I live in, and complete my transition into cyberspace.

The Arts

Practical objects

The halls of commerce

wtf?

rds

As you may or may not know, Kelley and I are getting hitched on Saturday.

There may not be any posts between now and, say, Monday or Tuesday. Or, there may be. Who can say? I’ll repeat: who can say?

See you on the flip side,
rds